Growing Pains

What is the product of (time change + full moon + molars + exploring physical, emotional and mental boundaries) x 5?

Cheezeburger

Growing pains and simply the beginning of toddlerhood. I try to put myself in their shoes… I have trouble imagining a world where you:

  • Don’t understand even 1/3 of the words spoken to you or about you.
  • Desire to do things just like others (parents) but often lack the physical ability or coordination
  • Can’t comprehend why hitting your head against a hard object or poking your sibling in the eye, or even playing with poop is a bad thing.
  • Want to tell the world, or even just you mom, what you want but find the best way to get their attention is to scream.
  • Experience periodic pain (teething) and don’t know why it is happening or how to make it go away.
  • Have someone else controlling everything in your life from when you sleep to when you wake.

This sounds like a very scary world for me. It is very important to me to help equip my children with both choice and tools for communication at such a young age. I hope that this will help to lessen the growing pains for all involved. So, how do we do it?

  • Recognize their limits by trying to see life in their eyes.

LilyBug

  • Be the parent. While we try to empathize, we also need to have boundaries and provide a healthy environment with consequences. We now have a penalty box, which is simply a re-purposed baby gate. They are beginning to recognize that “bad baby” gets 2-minutes for hitting, biting, banging their head, throwing food, need I go on?

Silly Ellie

  • Teach them to sign and encourage them to use the words they know. While signing at young children may seem like it is effort done in vain, one day it all clicks. Our kiddos can now sign and say a variety of words, which saves us a tantrum or two.

Kmae & Pandy

  • Maintain a routine. While their schedule needs to grow with them, we try our best to keep meal times, nap times and bed times the same each and everyday. This helps them to know what comes next.

Bella

  • Choice is tricky. We try to provide them options in regards to which books they would like to read, or toys to play with. When it comes to eating, we choose what and when, but they get to decide how much.

While physical growing pains don’t typically start until around 3, you wouldn’t know it around here! The quints are also physically getting bigger! Theo is leading the pack in both height and weight (no surprise), but Lily is just a few centimeters shy. Bella is turning out to be our light-weight partially because she is quite the jumping-Bella-bean. Ellie and Kali were the exact same height at their 18-month visit, with Elliott just a couple pounds less than her.

  • Elliott: 30.6 inches and 20.5 lbs
  • Kali: 30.6 inches and 22.8 lbs
  • Lily: 30.8 inches and 21.3 lbs
  • Bella: 30.1 inches and 19.8 lbs
  • Theo: 31 inches and 25.9 lbs

What’s next? 

Potty training is the next item on our milestone agenda. We have started introducing the potty and the necessary language. We are waiting for other cues that they are ready. At this point, Bella appears to be in the lead by hiding when she poops and wanting to take off her diaper and help to wipe.

While looking ahead to what’s next, I find it a daily practice to remain present; trying to appreciate every moment that will soon be a memory.

 

For those of you who know me…

For those of you who know me, know I’m a bit nostalgic. I believe this appreciation for the past and joy from recollecting was instilled in me by my dad. I enjoy reminiscing about times that have gone by, sometimes to a fault, in that I miss the present or plan too much for the future. But, nevertheless, I cherish days like today- Memorial Day- for taking a time out to look back.

image_1

One year ago today, I was lying in a hotel in Mesa, AZ. I had just been discharged from the local hospital after having a surgery that saved our pregnancy. I did not know what the days ahead would bring, but knew that in a few hours I would have to drop Frank off at the airport and spend the next days alone.

For those of you who know me, being away from home is not my specialty. I have always been a homebody. I am perfectly content hanging out at home. While I appreciate others’ love for travel, I generally have little interest. So, needless to say moving to Arizona was not something I would have chosen to do.

For those of you who know me, know that I strive to walk with God. It truly has been a bumpy road, of straying here and there. But, as I reflect on this Memorial Day, I see how God’s hand was guiding our footsteps during that treacherous time. We had found out on that Monday that we were going to lose our pregnancy and the medical team shared with us that there was nothing we could do about it. The parents of other quintuplets told me differently. When I learned of the surgery that had prolonged other high order multiple pregnancies the answer was easy; I needed that surgery. I recall wrestling with this decision in my mind. I saw two choices: Stay here in WI where I was comfortable and await the impending miscarriage, or hop on a plane to AZ to see the best maternal and fetal medicine specialist in the world. After we decided to choose life, God granted me peace. My fear had passed away, and this new sense of calm and strength arose. I take no credit for this change, but was merely witness to it. 28wk_diagram1

For those of you who know me, know that I have a rich inner life. I may be an ambivert on the Meyers Briggs, but I believe I’m a true introvert. I process life on the inside and share with those I trust. So, why would a true introvert write such a telling message? It is to brag, but not on myself. It is to testify to the guiding grace of God the Father, His humble Son and His Spirit.

I feel like I blinked and a year has flown by. Every day is an opportunity of worship. I look at my children and sometimes forget in the moment where they were 10 short months ago. I see them kicking and rolling and can recall them doing that when they were all crammed in my tummy. I stand in their nursery and just watch as all of their little heads pop up like little prairie dogs from their cribs in the morning. I dreamed of moments like that. Our children are a true joy and a challenge wrapped up into one little package

So, on this day when we are beckoned to remember, I encourage you to first and foremost thank those who have served our country. Remember those who have fallen for it. But, also take a moment to remember and recall the miracles in your life. For you are loved!

Lucky Number 7

Theo the masked man
Theo the masked man

Friday we surpassed yet another milestone! The babies have been cooking for 7 months, which means we are now above the average gestational age for quintuplets. All of the babies were measured on Friday and they are all measuring within a day or two of the recommended size for babies at this point in pregnancy.

The picture below is a cool diagram that my sonographer drafted for us, which depicts where each of the babies are located in my belly, along with their current weights and percentiles.

28wk_Diagram

The weight of each baby is estimated based on the length of the baby’s humerus (bone in upper arm) and femur (bone in upper leg), the circumference of their abdomen and their head circumference.

Baby B's Abdomen and Kidneys
Baby B’s Abdomen and Kidneys

The biggest one in the bunch is Baby B at 2lbs and 12oz at the 62nd percentile. Little Elle Rose (Baby E) is the munchkin, but not by much as baby D and Theo (baby A) are also the same weight (2 ½ lbs) but just a bit longer. At this rate, when the baby’s are measured again at 32 weeks they will be about 1lb heavier each. Let’s just hope this Mama can keep up!

Baby C's Brain
Baby C’s Brain
Theo's Heart
Theo’s Heart

All of their organs (kidneys, bladders, hearts, brains, stomachs) look great and are also appropriate sizes. The blood flow to Elle has improved and has stabilized.  All heart rates remain within normal limits, and are often on the higher side, which is probably because they just can’t sit still.  We are truly excited to meet our little wiggle worms!

Baby D
Baby D
Elle Rose
Elle Rose

I am also doing well. It seems I am stretching by the day, but my body is adapting.  Pregnancy is definitely a physical challenge, but the emotional, mental and spiritual journey that accompanies gestation is truly a blessing!

28weeks_belly3

The Quint’s Domain

The quint’s domain is nearing completion thanks to Frank and our invaluable friends! This past week Frank coordinated the rearranging of an abundance of furniture, cleaning of closets, and construction of all of the baby furniture and shelving!

I cannot thank Jake, Bethany, Sean, Jenny, Liz, Brad, Ryan, Hayley, Sam, Angela, Sunghee and Jo enough for their generosity. We have been so blessed by their friendship and support since day one. I can’t explain the peace that it brings me to know that our babies will have a place to lay their little heads when they arrive back in Madison. Thank you!

Here are some more snapshots of the action!

Sam cleaning out the closet
Sam cleaning out the closet
Liz reconstructing our guest room
Liz reconstructing our guest room
Our reconstructed office in the basement!
Our reconstructed office in the basement!
Sam, Ryan & Jo building a crib
Sam, Ryan & Jo building a crib
The new cribs constructed by Frank, Sam, Jake, Ryan and Jo!
The new cribs constructed by Frank, Sam, Jake, Ryan and Jo!
Hayley cooking up a storm for our hungry helpers!
Hayley cooking up a storm for our hungry helpers!

 

These shelves were built in mere moments as Sean moved about like The Flash
These shelves were built in mere moments as Sean moved about like The Flash

 

Foreman Manny overseeing the project
Foreman Manny overseeing the project

 

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Baby

Thank you for everyone’s prayers for Baby E, Elle Rose, because God is answering every one of them. At today’s appointment we found out that her Doppler readings from her umbilical cord were in the normal range, with only one reading just above normal! She is our little fighter. I also shared with Dr. Elliott that we name little Elliott (Elle) Rose after him and I think I saw tears well up in his eyes. I love the heartfelt compassion of my doctor!

Baby E_Dopple

Additionally, at today’s visit we got to see almost everyone’s little face, and most of them have what looks to be a full head of hair! The sonographer asked me if I was having heart burn and nausea and I answered with a resounding yes! She said it is most likely due to the amount of hair on their little heads, because the hair protein can irritate the GI tract. Theo and Elle have the most hair and the rest are little fuzz balls at this point. I’ll let you see for yourself!

Chubby Cheeked Theo
Chubby Cheeked Theo
Baby C
Baby C
Baby C's Profile
Baby C’s Profile
Elle Rose
Elle Rose- I think she’s smiling!
Elle Rose's Profile
Elle Rose’s Profile

Baby B & D didn’t want to come out to play at the photo shoot, so unfortunately we don’t have any images of those two little ladies.  But, from what we saw today everyone remains on track with healthy hearts, brains, organs and blood flow.

My doctor also gave me a warning that this is the point where growth really picks up.  Amazingly, all of the babies have shifted to a transverse position with their heads to my left and little feet to the right.  Theo still has his little noggin tucked into my pelvis but his feet swing left. So, they are in ideal positions to bulk up…which of course Mama is going to need to find some XXXL shirts pretty soon! Muumuu’s here I come!

Again, thank you to everyone for your prayers! We appreciated every single one of them. We also want to send a special thanks to our friends at Culver’s who threw us a baby shower. Now our little ones can sport their little Culver’s onesies on their way home!

One Happy & Thankful Daddy!
One Happy & Thankful Daddy!

We are simply overwhelmed by everyone’s generosity and support. Please know we could not do this without you!

Happy 3rd Trimester!

We have reached yet another milestone in this pregnancy! In just a few days we begin our 3rd trimester!

I did thisAlthough the third trimester often brings aches, pains, and discomfort from gaining half of your original body weight it also brings the joy of knowing that- for me- in 9 weeks or less, I will be holding each of these beautiful miracles!

24 weeks, or 6 months, is a critical milestone because it is the point in the pregnancy where doctors will consider your pregnancy viable, or in other words if you give birth after 24 weeks your doctor’s will help to save your babies. Therefore, from this point on the babies are coming, it’s just a matter of when.

The average gestation for quintuplets is 26-27 weeks, which for me would be in 1-2 weeks. However, my current perinatologist’s average for quint pregnancies is 33 weeks and 1 day, and of course my personal goal is 34 weeks! When it comes to high order multiples average just isn’t good enough.

So, how does this compare to a singleton pregnancy if we make it to 34 weeks? Well, being born at 34 weeks for 5 babies is about the same as being born at 30 weeks for 1 baby. According to all of the statistics, the risk of brain bleeds, respiratory distress, cerebral palsy, etc. all plummet at 28 weeks (you can read more about this in my previous post, entitled Visit to the High Risk Clinic).

Our outlook is pretty good. At my last doctor’s visit on Tuesday, I was informed that I might be able to stay out of the hospital for another 3-4 weeks. This was music to my ears because:

  1. Most make it another 4+ weeks after admission to the hospital before giving birth.
  2. Our pregnancy is stable enough for me to continue to enjoy the perks of living in a home.
  3. Hospital food doesn’t even come close to my mom’s delicious and nutritious cooking!

We also learned at our previous visit that all of the babies are growing at a similar rate now; they are all between the 60th-70th percentiles. My side of the family is known for making big babies, so we’ll see how this plays out. The only difference was that Baby B’s legs were much, much longer than everyone else’s. It looks like she takes after her Daddy and will be the speedy queen of the bunch. We also learned that everyone’s hearts, brains, kidneys and circulation look great!

The only concern from the visit was that Baby E’s umbilical cord did not insert centrally into her placenta, which is correlated with causing distress later in pregnancy. Right now, baby E is as playful as the rest, so my prayer is that her circulation stays strong. She has been the doctor’s concern since day one, so I know she is going to be our little fighter.

Baby E has got her dukes up!
Baby E has got her dukes up!

Now, for those that have bared with me to the end of yet another lengthy post, I plan to present to you the names of our five little miracles…with a bit of explanation of course in the next post!

The Cost of Good Care

American-flag-stethascope

The healthcare industry is constantly evolving. Scientific research spurs on new discoveries, techniques, surgeries and cures. The economic environment dictates the distribution of healthcare. In the present day and age, there are many “what-if’s” about how and to whom healthcare is delivered. This post is not intended to be an epic dissertation on healthcare in America. The purpose, rather, is to explain to those inquiring why we are no longer pursuing medical care for our pregnancy in Madison, WI.

Upon learning that we were pregnant with quintuplets, the initial meetings with our fertility specialist and perinatologists were an emotional undertaking, to say the least. These medical specialists fought long and hard to convince us to pursue multi-fetal reduction. They wanted us to take the five and reduce to 2, maybe 3. This was never an option for us, and we made it very clear from day one. However, despite our stance, the perinatologists would not discuss a plan of care with us for over a month under their supervision.

Finally, nearly two months into our pregnancy we were able to sit down and discuss how we were going to make our pregnancy a success and give our unborn children the best chance at a happy and healthy life. We came prepared to this meeting, well read on terms and proactive treatments and even brought along a few research articles to discuss. The docs may have been a bit thrown off; one was not even prepared to discuss how to combat pre-term labor. Luckily, his colleague was.

We had a long conversation about what their practice was willing to provide and what they were not. They were willing to provide monitoring prior to 24 weeks of gestation, which simply meant monthly ultrasounds. They were willing to provide a nutrition consult with their dietitian and psychological care with their social worker. But, they were not willing to consider preventative measures, and what I would consider proactive care. Despite the research I held in my hand, they would not acknowledge the efficacy of a cerclage (stitching of the cervix), non-stress testing (contraction monitoring), intensive tocolysis (treatment of contractions to delay labor), or even bed-rest. Instead they encouraged me to continue to take my prenatal vitamin and told me it was fine to exercise up to 30 minutes a day.

This information did not sit well with me, so I reached out to other mothers of quints and they were appalled. They encouraged us to get a second opinion and quickly. I didn’t at that point. I decided that I needed to come to trust my current healthcare practitioners; I did not want to seek care elsewhere knowing: 1) This would mean leaving home and 2) Our insurance would not cover it.

Then, at 18 weeks we sat across the table from another perinatologist from the same practice and a clinical nurse specialist. They informed us that we would most likely lose this pregnancy in the next 3-4 weeks. I asked and begged for them to reconsider a cerclage, and they said it would not help but would actually put me in more danger of losing my pregnancy. They shared that cerclages are only provided to persons with incompetent cervixes, which is a diagnosis typically given to moms only after having a previous miscarriage prior to 24 weeks. He told us not to give up hope but that there was essentially nothing else we could do. He encouraged me to continue to eat right and said I could still exercise up to 30 minutes daily. I asked about bed rest, tocolytic drugs and contraction monitoring and was once again told these treatment options would be of no help. Then, came the moment I realized that care at this clinic was not our only choice. I sought a second opinion.

The second opinion came from a renowned high-risk perinatologist in Arizona, who many other quint mom’s highly recommended and adored. They loved him for a very important reason; he saved their pregnancies. After a 30-minute phone call with this doc, also known as the, “Quad God,” I learned that if I didn’t have a cerclage within the next 3 days, we would, in all likelihood, lose our babies. He had a recipe for success that was incomparable to other docs’ practices due to his extensive experience with high order multiples. He has delivered 101 sets of quadruplets, 15 sets of quintuplets and 2 sets of sextuplets. To put that in perspective, our previous docs had delivered just 1 set of quads, no quints, and no sextuplets. Additionally, the average gestational age of quints delivered under his care is 33 weeks and 1 day… Academic research indicates the total population gestational average is somewhere between 25 and 27 weeks. The “Quad God’s” success was quite simply unheard of.

The next few days flew by as we attempted to plead with our insurance company to cover this care. However, to this day, they continue to deny us because:

  1. The services requested are/were with a non-participating provider.
  2.  The services are/were not medically indicated because they are not appropriate to treat the condition and do not represent the standard of care to treat the condition.
  3.  The utility of prophylactic cerclage is unproven and there is evidence to suggest it may be detrimental and may be associated with an increase in preterm delivery and pregnancy loss.

However, here I sit to write this post at 24 weeks- 6 weeks later- with healthy babies developing within me.

So, many ask why am I still here? I have the cerclage, the pregnancy is stable and insurance continues to not be willing to pay a dime towards our care. Why would I not come back to Madison?

The answer to me is plain and simple:

1. There were no other participating providers in our insurance network besides our  initial maternal and fetal medicine specialists.

We were concerned with the care that was being provided by our previous providers for several reasons, including their unwillingness to consider preventative and proactive measures of care.  Even after the cerclage, they informed me that they would be unwilling to provide intense tocolysis, contraction monitoring and support strict bed rest. I have been receiving these treatments here in AZ since the moment I arrived.

2. Emergent care, via cerclage, strict bed rest, contraction monitoring and tocolysis, were/are all required and medically indicated, in order to, prevent pre-term labor.

There is a body of research, which supports these facets of care during multi-fetal gestation. Additionally, a cerclage is not an “experimental therapy” but again is considered a component of normal perinatal care in a high-order multiples pregnancy.

My current perinatologist has published over 25 peer-reviewed articles on the management of high-order multiples and has delivered 15 sets of quintuplets whom have exceeded the average gestational age by over 5 weeks. The previous specialists have never delivered, or managed, a quintuplet pregnancy and while they are revered clinicians in their areas of research, they have not published on the management of high-order multiple pregnancies.

The peace that I feel in pursuing treatment under this new doctor’s care is overwhelming. For the first time in this pregnancy, I am confident in the care that I am receiving.  I would fear for the well being of my babies if they were subject to the care of the practitioners in Madison. They have not demonstrated that they truly care about our five miracles, nor do they appear willing to proactively fight for a healthy pregnancy.

Unfortunately, these reasons are not convincing to our insurance provider. Therefore, we will continue to appeal and grieve this process with them, as we have since we initiated care outside of network. It is truly unfortunate that we cannot find comparable care within our insurance providers network. Our current doctor even offered to communicate his care plan to our previous docs, so that we could remain in-network, however they have denied all collaboration at this point.

Our biggest concern at this point, outside the healthy delivery of our 5 babies, is the financial livelihood of our family. The medical practitioners we are working with are very cognoscente of our financial situation and have been more than accommodating. But, we know that once I am admitted for closer monitoring and more intense treatment, the bills will begin to accumulate. Then, of course, will come the likely astronomical Neonatal Intensive Care Unit bill for 5 babies.

And so, we are witness to the cost of good healthcare in America. Still, we are simply unwilling to sacrifice our right to choose a qualified practitioner just because an insurance company is holding us financially hostage. We feel as parents-to-be that we now represent our children; we are now responsible for their well being until they are able to take on that responsibility themselves. We will fight, and continue to fight, for our children’s God given right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

The Story of Theo and the 4 Princesses

BABY_C2

As I lay on the ultrasound table this afternoon I watched the story of Theo and the four princesses unfold.The sonographers took just over 30 minutes on each baby to specifically measure and examine:

  • The spine
  • The heart, including all 4 chambers, the aortic arch and the heart rate
  • The brain and specific parts including the cerebellum
  • Nuchal fold
  • Kidneys and the blood flow through the renal arteries
  • The umbilical cord and placenta
  • Fluid within each placenta
  • Boy and Girl parts
  • Head circumference
  • Facial features (eyes, nose, lips)
  • Both arms with open hands
  • Both legs and feet

As you can see it was truly a marathon of measurements. But, three hours later we now know that we have very healthy babies. Everyone’s organs look great at this point and have great blood flow. All of the nuchal folds were less than 6 mm, which means they are all at a very low risk for genetic disorders, including downs syndrome. Everyone has 10 fingers and 10 toes and the cutest little noses!  Also, all of the babies’ measurements are within normal limits. We have two babies at the 70th percentile, meaning they are measuring bigger than one baby would at this time. The remaining three babies are at the 30th percentile.

We also got confirmation that we will be having four girls and one little boy. We have decided to name our little guy Theodore Joseph, or Theo for short. He may eventually come to enjoy the name TJ, too!  As for our little ladies, we are still tossing names around but definitely have a few that we like.

I commend all of the sonographers for their work because we certainly have a bunch of wiggle worms. However, everyone did give us a beautiful profile shot and a quick glance at their faces.

Baby D
Baby D
Baby E
Baby E

Even little Theo decided to show us his face, which up until this point he would only reveal his boy parts.

BABY A

The only baby who stayed in the same position was baby E, who is at the very top. She may be quite the diver some day because she assumed the Pike position and didn’t switch. Baby C was tucked in a little ball and was quite the rascal. The rest were rolling about the entire time. I was happy to see everyone moving and grooving.  I wish I could share all of the images from today with you but unfortunately I got a faulty disc. All of the images within this post are from our 19-week ultrasound.

So, all in all we are doing very well! We are quickly approaching 22 weeks this Friday and then it’s just 3 more months to make it to our goal of 34 weeks!

Greetings from Arizona

Superstition Mountain

All is well in Arizona!

21 weeks

Today we celebrate 21 weeks, which may have not been possible without this venture to the desert.

My mom came to visit this week and it has been amazing to have her here. She has cleaned, cooked, and cleaned some more. It will be hard to say goodbye tomorrow, but I just have to remember that it’s really, see you later.

The home where I am staying is truly an oasis with a beautiful view from the patio.  Since there is not much to share in terms of updates, I thought I would share the scenery.

One tall cactus
One tall cactus
Cactus in front of Superstition Mountain
Cactus in front of Superstition Mountain

There is a lot more wildlife than I thought there would be. The birds are constantly chirping. I am greeted each morning by a pair of lovely doves. I even found a family of quail- mommy, daddy and several babies.  After meeting those little guys I was happy to see the vulture fly away. There are also the little lizards scampering to and fro and the coyote who takes his walk of shame down the road every morn.  I am truly surrounded by God’s handiwork, which is yet another blessing.

Mr. Morning Dove
Mr. Morning Dove

We will be having our 5-hour, 2nd trimester scan next week- woo hoo! I hear it’s a marathon with snack breaks and all! So, I will definintely have more to share about the V-5 next week. Stay tuned!

The Starting Line-Up

Quints

As many of you may have heard, our starting line is four girls and one boy!

The boy is currently guarding the gate and is located at the very bottom with the four little ladies piled on top.

On Tuesday, I had another ultrasound to assess heart rates and fluid. It also was another opportunity for a photo shoot. It appears that we have some shy gals and guy because each time they went to take a close up on their faces they drew there hands in front of their face. Either that or there was an epic game of peek-a-boo that we were witnessing!