I'm a registered dietitian and certified personal trainer on a personal mission to equip and empower motivated individuals in their pursuit of overall wellness.
The first snow of the season is a sudden reminder that the Holidays are just around the corner. This year the Vanderwall Quints are more aware than ever of all the hustle and bustle. “New House,” gobbling turkeys, snow, “Kiss-mas” lights, and “Frosties” abound!
It is so much fun to take a fresh look at all of these events from the eyes of the V5. Their expressions and experiences are priceless and a stark reminder to appreciate the little things that otherwise would be overlooked. These include the winter wind on your cheeks, learning how to walk in big clunky snow boots, having snowflakes land on your eyelashes, and sliding down a slick snow hill. In addition to all the wonderful elements of winter and the holidays, the kiddos have also grown to enjoy:
Coloring
Forming animals with Play-doh
Cooking and tasting new fruits and vegetables
Playing matching games
Hide and Go Seek with their animals
Writing their names
The biggest challenge of the day is naptime. Since saying good-bye to our cribs and hello to toddler beds, their mid-day nap has been nearly non-existent. Bella is your typical, “Jack in the Box” child and thus almost always needs to be removed from the situation in order to allow the other munchkins time to sleep. Other obstacles that we have been navigating include the typical two-year-old-tantrums. We ride the emotional rollercoaster of being a toddler right along side of them. We hope that the additional space that our new home will bring will help to ease some of the tantrums that result from simply being too close to one another. In the mean time, we are rolling with the punches… hair pulling… biting… and “puddling” on the floor. One new tool in our tool box for combatting these days is exploring the winter wonderland!
King Solomon in chapter three of the Book of Ecclesiastes writes, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven…” The Byrds agreed and sang, “To everything, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn. And a time to every purpose under heaven.” Everyone is aware of change- young and old- life truly is a series of seasons. We can postpone, fear and protest change, but we cannot stop it. I have found that change is best experienced in small steps with a firm foundation.
How does this apply to toddlerhood? From my perspective, toddlers change every day and they are keenly aware of the changes within themselves and around them. The V5 have noted that the leaves are changing from Lily-Green to Theo-Orange, Mae-Yellow, Bella-Purple and Ellie-Pink. They also have noticed that it’s windy outside and “told,” too. Our little munchkins have prompted many changes in the last month and have led us through most of them gracefully.
Bowls to Plates
The V5 have been eating from a bowl for a very long time. We welcomed the idea of transitioning to plates for lunch and dinner because it would teach them to pace themselves. Lily was previously wolfing down her food; she is known to be quite the snake at the table and not chew one bite. But, now she has slowed down to keep pace with her sibs.
It also provides the opportunity to demonstrate what a healthy meal looks like and the food groups present. Chef Theo caught on right away and enjoys demonstrating is well-balanced meal (Meat, Toast and Matoes). The kids have also become very engaged in the meal planning and preparation process. At lunch and dinner, we ask what they would like and each get to choose 1 item; it helps that there are five food groups. Then my little sous chefs walk me through each step of the process. Their favorite meals are:
egg, toast, avocado, spinach and applesauce
meat, orange potatoes, zucchini and oranges
Diapers to Pull-ups
As you know we are Potty Training Boot Camp veterans. We have experienced two tours. Since the second tour, the V5 have been self-initiating 2-3 trips to the potty each day. Elliott, Mae and Bella are really good at anticipating pee-pee and poo-poo; Lily loves to try and is still learning the internal sensations; Theo enjoys sitting on the big-boy potty. Many potty-training gurus discourage Pull-ups because they are essentially diapers. But, we like them because it gives the kids the independence to try to go to the potty on their own and saves lots of messes.
Cribs to Toddler Beds
When is it time to transition to a toddler bed? I’m not sure there is a best time, but most recommend to introduce them when the crib becomes unsafe. For us, this was when at least two were able to climb out of their cribs and they were able to in the middle of the night. Our transition was quick- all at once. Bella was the first to escape. With great grace she leapt out like an Olympic pole vaulter. We bought ourselves time by lowering her mattress to the floor. Theo was next and launched himself out of the bed in the middle of the night while demanding snuggles. The next day, we chose to transition to toddler beds at nap time. Warning: this change requires consistency and strong boundaries. Prepare a safe room that they can explore in the middle of the night, expect a sleepless night full of tantrums, and do not go back. Once the door is closed, let them figure it out.
A New House The biggest transition on the horizon is our move to Sun Prairie, specifically the township of Bristol. The kids are really looking forward to the move and I think it is because they know that it is for the better. We talk about the “new house” with great positivity. They have visited and seen how much space they will have to learn and play. We look forward to closing on December 7th!
Tips to Ease Transition
As I noted earlier, change can be quite difficult but I believe there are many things we can do, specifically parents can do, to ease transition for their children.
Over-Communicate. We practice over-communication with anything new on a daily basis. We have found that the kids do very well when they know what is coming. Whether it is consequences or the day’s events, we see fewer tantrums when they know what’s next. I also say over-communicate, because to an adult it can sound silly to lay out basic steps, like, “when you are doing eating, we will scrape our plates once and then take them to the sink.” But, to a child these are important because otherwise they may not understand why they can’t sit at the table and lick their plates for 10 minutes after the meal (Cough- Ellie- Cough Cough).
Take it slow. Avoid turning a child’s world upside-down. I truly believe that children change a little bit every day, so they are already learning to experience the world a little different every time they wake. Be careful with self-imposed changes, such as those that we have described above. I have to remind myself that small steps also lead to big changes. One example is the transition from two naps to one. Most recommend making this change 10 minutes at a time versus all at once.
Lead by Example. If change is scary for the parent, I believe the child will sense that fear, too. I will openly admit that I am not good at change. But, I am open to trying to become better at it. I like order, sequence and schedules and transitions do not always allow for this. Therefore, as I learn to accept change and ease transition I hope to role model a healthy way to handle change for my children. Because change is new, sometimes spontaneous and can be open-ended, I have found a firm foundation of what is known is important to me. Therefore, I try to provide a firm foundation for my children when we are transitioning, such as my great love for them and the simple reminder that everything is going to be okay.
Fun Finish… Sneak peek into Minion Mansion: Halloween 2015
Cassie Vanderwall is a dietitian, personal trainer, diabetes educator, blogger, and most importantly, mother of quintuplets. Her five kiddos just happen to be two months shy of two years.
She offers her advice on how to stay sane with the three P’s: Planning, Priorities and Perspective.
Planning: We all know that kids benefit from schedules and routines, from short term to long term planning. Where are they gonna go to school? When’s the next meal? What’s for dinner? All of those questions are important to answer ahead of time so we can be present with our kids every moment.
Priorities: We often as parents pour into our children and end up running on empty. But Cassie believes we have a lot to learn from airline safety. Put that air mask on first. Keep your emotional and physical tanks full with monthly dates with your partner, a quick workout in the morning and healthy food throughout the day.
Perspective: We all have those days where we throw back our heads and say really, really did that just happen? Feel free to fill in the blank with your latest and greatest moment. And it’s at those times you should remind yourself that you’re blessed with a beautiful family.
Team Vanderwall remains in the first quarter of the 2nd year of life. The V5 have come out of the gate with some creative tactics, but Mom, Dad and Nana have proved to be resilient early in the game. This tough trio has taken on potty training, spoon skills, outdoor walks and even social gatherings. The quints appear to be a force to be reckoned with, and we don’t deny the mutinies that have occurred in the last month, but we remain hopeful.
Navigating the age of two takes creativity, patience and endurance. It is such a blessing that Frank, Nana and I have alternating schedules so we can stay “fresh” for the V5. They are so “hungry” for new scenes, new games, new words and new experiences. It is beautiful to watch them soak up life!
Along with all of these “news” have come an abundance of new words! I truly believe that communication is the key to surviving and is what transforms the terrible two’s into the terrific two’s. It is increasingly obvious that 50% of their frustrations come from lack of words to say what they want to say, 25% are from their inability to identify what they are feeling inside (emotions), and the final 25% is unpreventable provoking from their siblings, namely Lily.
Our battle plan for the age of two includes…
Help them “use their words:” This includes teaching them new words everyday. Some times this happens by accident and other times it is very intentional. We also have to remind them to use the words they know versus collapsing on the floor like a giant puddle (Ellie) or screaming and running circles (Kali Mae), or even jolting around in your chair like your toes are in an electrical socket (Bella). You will note that Theo was note named. He honestly has very few tantrums, which I think is because his vocabulary and capacity to communicate are quite high for his age.
Navigating emotions: Anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, etc. all produce icky sensations inside and helping the V5 to identify these feelings, understand that they are all okay and deal with them in a productive manner is a huge undertaking. We have been trying to call it when we see it, or simply say “Mae’s scared, it’s okay to be scared.” We have noticed the more that we help them to process early on in the scene the quicker it resolves.
Once we have labeled the emotion, we move on to helping them deal with it. A few tips we have received and tried include:
Time out to chill out:We have designated certain areas on the couch called “nests.” These are the chill out zones. When someone needs to calm down they are relocated to the nest with a few of their favorite toys.
Shake it off:When we see that they are angry or sad, we try to wipe off the nasty feeling and then shake it off. You could even use a towel for a visual.
Time out for safety: If we are late to the scene and injuries have incurred, then we do often separate the quints to preserve their safety. They can be vicious and have been known to bite, hit, kick, pinch and nearly draw blood. Therefore, a quick 2-5 minute time out can help to restore peace in an effective manner.
Staying Fresh: This tactic is two-fold: it requires that Mom, Dad and Nana are taking care of themselves so that they have lots of love and energy to pour out to the munchkins and consistently coming up with new activities to help the V5 explore all that life has to offer and continue to learn, grow and play.
Frank is the best at coming up with new games. Check out his obstacle course, The Quint 500, below.
The kids also love to go to the zoo, play outside, go on “big kid” walks, and read, read, read!
Number five. Sweet Ellie Rose. Despite being the “baby” of the bunch, she acts much like a first born. She is reliable; if you ask Ellie to do something, she does it. She is conscientious and likes things just right. She is a natural caregiver and loves preparing “meals” for her animals, feeding her babies, combing her sisters’ hair and rubbing their backs.
She appreciates structure and can be quite controlling… especially when she’s coloring. Coloring can be quite a stressful activity for little Ellie because she likes to be the bearer of all crayons and tends to be quite the perfectionist. Elliott is very independent, too. Her happy place is alone in a corner with her stuffed kitty and a tag (yes, a tag on her shirt or pants).
Ellie Rose is brilliant; she is our little mad scientist. When she is not organizing toys, enjoying her own home-cooked meal, running laps, or dancing to the music in her little head, you will find her building perfect towers and putting together puzzles. She is a master builder; a 30-piece puzzle is no match for Ellie Rose.
Ms. Elliott we love you bunches and bunches!
Ellie’s Second Year…
If you really want to turn back the clock, check out Ellie’s First Year…
Number four of five. The best word I can think of to define Kali Mae is goofy. You may recall her shenanigans of standing on her head, as well as, crab crawling backwards on her head. Today, she can stand upright and walk, but still runs around like a waddling goofball. She has the most precious smile and the sweetest blue eyes. These two attributes help to get her out of a whole lot of trouble.
She is definitely the little stinker of the bunch. If you ask, “Who did it?” Nine times out of ten the answer will be Mae. Which brings us to her name. We debated the name change as a family and publicly and believe-it-or-not, Theo closed the case. He started calling her Mae and it has caught on. Now, the only ones who call her Kali are Bella and her Mama when she’s in trouble. She also still goes by Monkey, too because that shrill cry is still her signature.
Ms. Mae does have a sweet side. Although she is rough and tumble- and at times looks like she just crawled out of a pig’s pen- she loves to take care of her stuffed animals and her sisters. I have a feeling that her in Theo are going to be the protectors of the V5. Theo is more of the intellect and Mae is the muscle.
I love you just the way you are, Ms. Mae!
Kali’s Second Year…
If you really want to turn back the clock, check out Kali’s First Year…
The “middle” child, Ms. Lillian Grace. She is a silly Lily. She is a long-time resident of “goofball island.” With the blink of an eye, she will start gator-chomping and chasing after her siblings. She is also known to be a sloppy smoocher; watch out for her Lily Make-outs.
Lily is a sweet heart and consistently looks out for the needs of her siblings. She is the best at finding whatever they need or are searching for. However, if it’s meal or snack time, Lily looks out for number one. She is constantly on the prowl for leftovers. She eats much faster than everyone; eating by the fistful. She is going to be a tricky one to convert to mindful eating practices. After dinner, you’ll find Lily under the table seeking out scraps, as well as, a “maybe” or two. She is our family dog.
Lily is the most photogenic quint and is always ready with the perfect “cheeseburger” smile. Her crystal blue eyes can melt anyone’s heart, especially her mama’s. I love you, Lil!
Lily’s Second Year…
If you really want to turn back the clock, check out Lily’s First Year…
Our little Bella jumping bean is turning two! The second born of the V5. She is the pretty, pretty princess of the bunch and certainly believes that she is the “fairest of them all.” A true Daddy’s girl. She has more than just her Dada wrapped around her delicate fingers. All of her siblings are at her beck and call. Whether she needs her blanket (be-be), her snow seal (ar-ar), or anything else out of reach, they are at her service.
Bella has the best rhythm of the bunch and loves to dance, sing and play the egg shakers. When the dinner bell rings, she is usually the last one to the table and the last one to leave. Her slow dining pace, often leaves her victim to the hungry hyenas- aka Lily and Kali- awaiting her leftovers.
She is also our little socialite. She loves a crowd flutters about the room like a true social butterfly. She is our little bossy beauty and we love every ounce of you, Isabella!
Bella’s Second Year…
If you really want to turn back the clock, check out Bella’s First Year…
The V5’s second birthday is just around the corner. Join us in looking back at the many memories and how they’ve grown in the last year.
Mr. Theodore Joseph
Our firstborn. He truly is growing into his big brother role. While he can moan and groan with the best of them, he truly is a little gentleman. I think he takes role call as much as Mommy does; to be sure that all his sisters are present. He allows all of them to go outside, go inside, or up the stairs before him. Even when they get into little scrums, he rarely hits back.
This little guy is truly our boy genius. He is now able to carry on a conversation and is the most articulate member of our household. He can rattle off 3 and 4 syllable words with ease; his favorites being watermelon and helicopter.
His stuffed dog, brown bear, Nana and the color orange all hold a special place in this boy’s heart. He is looking more and more like his handsome Daddy everyday, especially with those striking blue eyes.
I am so proud of you, Mr. Theo! Happy Birthday!
Theo’s Second Year…
If you really want to turn back the clock, check out Theo’s First Year…
I had a moment the other day, where I caught a glance of my son, and I thought when did he become a little boy? Theo was just sitting, calmly on the couch thumbing through one of his favorite books. I was speechless in both words and thoughts, honestly all I could think was… amazing. In pure amazement, I wondered when did my little 29-weeker NICU babes because little boys and girls? Then, I realized they have accomplished a lot in the last three months.
Potty Training Boot Camp
The weekend of May 30th, 2015 will go down in history in the Vanderwall household. This was the week of potty basic training. Frank, Nana and I enlisted the V-5 and Elmo. We knew it was going to be intense, but did not know how exhausting it can be both physically and emotionally. We based the weekend off of Suzanne Riffel’s resource, entitled “The Potty Boot Camp: Basic Training for Toddlers.” We had to adapt it a bit, so one day I’ll released my own boot camp for multiples.
The schedule included four 4-hour boot camp sessions, where you spend 10-minutes off of the potty and 5-minutes on the potty. If there is an accident you have to perform drills, where you walk the child to the accident and then back to the potty 10 times. It is ideal if you can do it for 3 days straight, but we didn’t have the manpower to continue.
After Day 1 we had taken 130 trips to the potty, with 8 “Hits”, 17 “Misses” resulting in 170 “Drills” and 17 wet pairs of pants. Prior to day 2, we honorably discharged Theo and Kali. Day 2 resulted in 9 self-initiated hits, 13 hits and 10 accidents. Moving forward Bella was day-trained, Ellie was halfway there, and K, Lil and Theo were not ready physically. We were unable to sustain the schedule necessary to maintain the boot camp, so unfortunately Bella and Ellie relapsed. At this point, we are confident that they know how to use the potty and therefore when their bodies are mature enough we will all be ready. We are letting them take the lead from here.
First Trip to the Zoo
Our little munchkins love animals. They all have their favorites and are now able to call them by name versus the sound they make. Their favorites are:
Theo: Turtles, Rhinos and Dogs
Bella: Snow seals (unfortunately, this one still known as an “ar-ar”
Kali: Cats and Monkeys
Lily: Sheep and Dolphins
Elliott: Horses and Dragons
The zoo was an amazing experience for them. It was so cool to watch the expressions on their little faces when they saw how big, or heard, the animals in real life.
Upgrade to a Toddler Table
We laid to rest the amazing 6-seat daycare table. We knew they were ready when they were trying to get in and out by themselves. That doesn’t workout too well when the table is 3-feet off of the ground. Now, they not only are able to sit and stand as they please but, they enjoy helping to set and clean off the table. Unfortunately, this does allow them to take others’ food and we consistently have to remind Kali and Lily that it’s not a buffet…poor Bella often retreats to hide her food in the bookshelf so her hungry sisters can’t find it.
Learning How to Use Their Words
At times it feels like we live in a household of parrots. Theo and Lily are truly the best parrots, or perhaps its because they can be the loudest. Kali, Bella and Ellie tend to be very quiet and only talk when they are in small groups or one-on-one. Theo, however, will hold on a conversation with everyone from himself to the mailman. The development of their language has also allowed us to offer them choices and explain consequences of their poor decisions. I love being able to offer them two choices for a variety of decisions. I am confident we avoid a large number of tantrums this way. Also, their understanding of language at this point allows us to sit with them in a quiet place and explain why certain behaviors are wrong and thus warrant consequences and others are awarded. We are trying to use this approach more so than time-out. Time-out is now reserved for little ones who need to be removed from a situation for their safety or the safety of others. I have to say that Frank is awesome at helping the kids understand why their behavior can help or hurt others.
What’s Next?
It’s hard to believe that the V-5 turn two next month. We continue to practice a military-like schedule with lots of active play. We have figured out how to incorporate learning into these active times and as a result the kids have mastered:
The V5 have been eating from a bowl for a very long time. We welcomed the idea of transitioning to plates for lunch and dinner because it would teach them to pace themselves. Lily was previously wolfing down her food; she is known to be quite the snake at the table and not chew one bite. But, now she has slowed down to keep pace with her sibs.
Fuel to Flourish™ 
