After nearly a year of planning, our family took on Disney with confidence, gratitude and sheer awe. The Disney experience is truly life-changing. From the built environment to the personalities of the cast members, they truly transform the world for kids of all ages. Our 8-day plan included a 4 park pass to the Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios and Epcot. We made sure to keep our park days manageable by getting their at rope drop and bowing out around dinner time each evening. This helped with the traffic and prevented major meltdowns. Since we were staying off property our fast pass opportunities were fair, especially because we were booking for a party of ten. But, it still helped to provide the necessary structure for our Disney Park agendas. At the end of the day, we were tired but not exhausted and after our 2-day respite we were ready for the remaining two parks.
Instead of rambling on about our daily itineraries, I’d like to tell the story in pictures, which starts of course with our BIG REVEAL!
Temperatures drop and the wind chills as households warm up with family, traditions, and celebrations. The holidays are truly magical! Despite being sick, the V5 still had twinkles in their eyes on Christmas morning. The queasiness in their stomachs was cured by the excitement of traveling to family’s homes for delicious food, fun and of course thoughtful gifts.
Before the big day, we were able to visit with all sides of the family!
Bella and I were sad to miss the Vanderwall Christmas this year but enjoyed our special one-on-one Christmas with a long winter’s nap and a short viewing of Olaf’s Holiday Traditions.
The germs cleared and we rung in 2020 fever-free with our annual tradition of yummy appetizers, counting down with Australia and blowing poppers throughout the house!
We had final Christmas celebration with Papa Ron and Holly Girl. Kicked off 2020 celebrating Frank’s successful year with a delicious Hibachi dinner.
Cheers to you and yours for a happy and healthy 2020!
I often get questions about if our routine as a big and busy household is any easier now that the V5 are older. I always must pause and reflect to think about what it was like when our life revolved around 90-minute feeding regimens, or the 3 critical naptimes. It is in these moments that I realize life is speeding by us and while moments can be difficult making the days long, the weeks, months and years feel quite short.
Our difficulties in previous years revolved around time management, physical safety and growth. While these are still priorities, our focus today is on social and emotional health. I have been reading Dr. Gary Chapman’s book entitled, “The Five Love Languages of Children.” I am a big fan of individualizing the way we love others to best fill their “tanks.” This has been important in our marriage and is becoming more important in our family. I have recognized from the beginning that even though the V5 are a unit; this unit is made of very different parts. Parenting is not one-size-fits-all. A post from Positive Parenting Connection states,
“When parents take into consideration that each child comes into the world with a mind and heart all their own, they can then explore the most effective ways to connect with and guide their child.”
This quite holds so much truth for me. It helps me to realize that not only do I need to individualize the way I love but also the way I teach, guide and discipline each of my children.
The Love Languages can also shine light upon the best way to discipline, or “the practice of training,” our children in the way we should go. We are not simply trying to modify behaviors, establish good habits and make little “yes” men and women, but we are in the business- as parents- in making good humans with strong and compassionate hearts. I don’t want to stifle my children’s questions and creativity with over-scheduling or take away their voice because I believe my way or ideas are better. I don’t want to raise robots; I want to raise 5 resilient, empathetic, creative adults who are not afraid to work, play, or even combine the two.
I am still investigating my children’s dominant love languages and in doing so I am also experimenting with the most effective way to discipline them. For those less familiar the Five Love Languages include:
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Gifts
I’m certain all my children enjoy getting gifts, but this doesn’t light their eyes up like a note in their bed-time journals, special time with them on the weekends, or getting to sit on our laps during story time. The more effort I put into loving them in their own way, I find that their trust and respect for my changes. These are two things that I hope to never lose. These languages also help me to prevent hurting their spirit when I need to discipline them.
We have tried several different strategies for discipline and sometimes we believe the lie that they will always be this sassy and disrespectful. In the moment, my frustrations, anger and lack of patience are at a climax but at night when the house is quiet I reflect on what was really going on. Often, I was modeling sass and disrespect seeking to “steam roll” versus redirect. I would love to be a perfect parent but I’m not. I’m an emotional parent who is easily over-whelmed. I also find that when I take away their voice, give them a time-out, or send them to their room that this doesn’t work for everyone. Some of them need this time and space to process; others feel abandoned in their inner turmoil. Finding the time and space to process these encounters is difficult but it is necessary. We know anger is a secondary emotion and underneath hides fear and sadness. We need to take the time to dig deep to help our children resolve these insecurities, fears and emotions.
Dr. Chapman, in the aforementioned book, states that the most profitable strategies for discipline are to love them through the correction. Start with an expression of their love language, avoid a discipline that is contrary to their love language and end with another expression of love. For example, if a child’s love language is words of affirmation, it would be best to start by identifying that you could see they were really trying to XYZ because you know that they do their best to XYZ. Then, move on to what you observed allowing their voice to clarify. End with more specific comments on their strengths and value. If we use harsh words with a harsh tone this can tear our little ones’ hearts apart who find vitality in others’ words. Another example, is if a child’s love language is physical touch we want to initiate and conclude discipline with endearing touch such as holding their hands, rubbing their back or embracing them.
This also makes so much sense when I read it and write it but is ever-so-hard to put into practice. But like most things practice makes more practice but eventually becomes routine. Thank you for joining me on this 6-year catharsis, I hope it inspires you to hold yours a little closer and love them a little harder.
Advent, or arrival, of the New Year has come! In the Christian tradition the first Sunday of Advent marks the New Year as individuals prepare for the coming of the Redeemer. Each Sunday of the Advent seasons prepares one with focus hope, peace, joy and love. Meditation on each of these values is a solid way to bring calm to one of the busiest times of the year but also sets the stage for the traditional New Year resolutions.
Now, looking back at the last 3 months of the holiday season I cannot help but see memories of hopeful children as they wrote and re-wrote and attempted to re-write their Christmas lists for a third time on Christmas eve… I hear the quiet and stillness of the household once they are all tucked in dreaming of tomorrow’s wishes… I see the joy written all over their faces as they embarked on new adventures trick-or-treating in October, trying new foods at Thanksgiving, and visiting family and friends over the Christmas celebrations… I feel and relish in the loving memories made at Christmas service as I watched each hold their own candle and sing silent night. All of these thoughts seem so fresh and I hope to keep them this way as we head into 2019.
Join me in refreshing the Advent New Year and refocusing on hope, peace, joy and love in 2019!
Minnie (Kali), Anna (Bella), Cat woman (Ellie), Capn America (Theo) and our resident Wiggly Gal (Lily) ready for some serious trick or treating!Visit to the Sun Prairie Fire Department to see Trucks, Police vehicles and the Med Flight team.
Celebrated Kali’s first Winter Dance performance and Lily and Ellie’s first session of Gymnastics. Theo is very excited to start basketball in 1 week.
Bella continues to enjoy her free time to be creative.
Thanksgiving Love, Joy, Snuggles and Sillies!
Family Christmas celebrations abounded! Great lessons of gratitude versus greed were learned. Lots of thank yous for the blessings that family and friends shared.
I even think they learned to like each other a bit more.
We capped off winter break with a surprise trip to the Dells!
The kiddos loved the waterpark, indoor amusement park and the arcade…
especially when Daddy won them each a ball from the claw machine!
We welcomed 2019 in with thoughtful reflection and resolutions, as well as, a whole lot of noisemakers!
Get better at building everything from Legos to planes to robots (Theo),
Playing nice with Lily (Bella),
Practice reading and gymnastics to get better each time (Lily),
Be more grateful (Kali),
Perfect her cartwheel and learn how to do a handstand (Ellie), and
To slow down enough in each moment to Selah, or to pause, reflect, look upwards, inwards and outwards before moving ahead in hope, peace, joy and love.
We have finally reached the age that everyone has been telling us about. The age of wonder with the ability to articulate curiosities, joys and fears. The age where memories are made by the minute. The age of near-self-sufficiency and ability to help… truly help. The age where messes are made but also cleaned up in a fraction of the time. The age where feelings are felt and are now being able to be navigated, understood and managed. Four- going on -five is an amazing age. This is partially why this summer has been so much fun. The other part is the opportunities that we have been blessed with to explore. Here are a few of our most memorable firsts this summer…
First Parade. The V5 represented Kicks Unlimited’s Little Ninjas class in the Flags of Freedom Parade.
First Time Riding a School Bus. The kiddos are enrolled in the Kick-off to Kindergarten program this summer which include a bus-ride to and from school. They have been doing great! No fear.
First Firework Show.Talk about awe and wonder! It’s difficult to explain fireworks to a child. While not everyone was fond of the sound, they all loved the show. They also enjoyed the entertainment at WaunBoom!
First Tragedy.The Sun Prairie community was literally rocked this last week with the tragic explosion downtown leading to the sudden loss of a hometown hero. We couldn’t have hid this from our children, if we wanted to. Instead, we chose to embrace it and use it as an opportunity to explain what happened, how it happened and how to respond. Service and social responsibility are very important to me and being able to serve alongside my children was very memorable. The V5 willingly headed to the store to make care packages for displaced kids and brought them to the Red Cross shelter at the high school.
First Trip to Michigan. This first was inclusive of the first 4+ hour car ride (7 hours one way) with only 2 bathroom break (total victory). During our time in Michigan, they experienced their first: trip to the beach, sandcastle, sand dunes, boat ride, and hike.On the way home, we had the opportunity to ride the Ferry- another first! Many, many thanks to Uncle Jeff and Aunt Sue for their hospitality and these memories!
Over the last week, the V5 kissed their last nap goodbye. While it was bittersweet, after 7 days of being nap-free, we believe we did the right thing. The transition went surprisingly well so, I had to share the success.
How did we know it was time?
Most sleep consultants and specialists agree that most preschool-aged children between the ages of 3-5 years need 10-13 hours of sleep every day. For us, this was from 8pm at night to 6am and a nap from 12:30-2:30. In the last few months, we had more and more mutinies during nap time and surprisingly the munchkins that didn’t nap made it past dinner better than those who did. We also noted that they were having trouble falling asleep and winding down at night when they did nap. This Mama turns into a pumpkin before 9pm so the staying up until 9:30-10p had to go. The V5 have always been early birds but even the worms were still sleeping at 4:30am. So, all of these signs pointed to the need to transition.
How to Transition
Like most childhood transitions, whether it be starting solids, potty training or decreasing daily naps, it is best to let the child lead the way. Therefore, be sure not to disregard naps too soon. Those brain breaks are essential for emotional and physical resets during the day.
When it is time to transition, consider a slow fade where you decrease the nap by 15-20 minutes each day. While we didn’t technically follow this suggestion, I believe the kiddos did. In retrospect, their 2-hour nap had dwindled over time.
Practice quiet time. This is an invaluable practice that can follow them into adulthood. This gives our crew time alone to look at books, do puzzles, sing, color or draw. While it is tricky to keep them separated, it pays dividends in the afternoon.
It is important to note that quiet time isn’t equivalent to screen time. While a 30-minute episode of their favorite show may provide the adult with some quiet time, it is not going to provide rest that their mind is seeking but rather will stimulate the brain.
This last suggestion may be obvious, but one must also move bedtime earlier. Our home now becomes meltdown-city around 6:30p. Therefore, we moved the dinner hour 30-minutes earlier to have be able to head upstairs by 6:30p and those sleepy eyes are shut now by 7p.
Benefits of Being Nap-Free
If you would’ve asked me a month or two ago about the benefits of being nap-free, I may have struggled but now I am relishing in the freedom to schedule fun day-time activities without restrictions. It also has permitted more hours in the day to have fun family time as evidenced by the Springtime fun featured below. The best benefit of all may be that they are now sleeping through the night with greater consistency and the bed-time battles have also decreased. This means more time for Nana to recoup and more time for Dad and Mom to be husband and wife.
The V5 got to try out their Easter Best last night at their Preschool Prom!
The evening was spent enjoying dinner, dancing and a very long balloon animal line amidst lots of new friends.
Dapper Mr. TheoPurple, Princess BellaKali Mae SunshineAnti-Tights, Laid Back LilyAlways looking to gain an inch, Ellie Rose on her Tippy ToesBustin’ a Move in her Kitty ShoesPhoto Booth SilliesThe only way we could capture a group photo… put them in a box
This week we honored world prematurity; Offering gratitude to those who walked with us, served us and cared for us on our journey from birth at 29 weeks and one day to four years old. We too easily recall all of the sad conversations that were had, scare tactics used and doubters early on. But, we also recall the reassuring love, guidance and strength which we heard much louder. Throughout the month of November each year, many draw their attention to the life-saving research, treatments and support that give every baby a fighting chance.
Giving thanks to the one above!
We felt that the V5 were old enough today to participate in thanking those who were critical in their survival from Dr. John Elliott and his team at Banner Desert to the elite NICU staff at Meriter. We honored world prematurity day by perusing their memory boxes, watching their first year videos, visiting the Meriter NICU to offer our thanks and enjoyed a special lunch!
Another day to praise Him for our blessings and thank His angels here on earth!
Today we celebrate the Vanderwall Quintuplets first day of school. We had no worries about being late since all five have been giddy with excitement since they first received their 4k notice in the mail; all were up and had dressed themselves by 6:30 am. In all honesty, we did experience a few wardrobe snafus and fashion faux pas but all easily resolved.. They gobbled down their oats and were eager for their photo shoot.
About 1,000 pictures later, we hopped in the van and headed to school. So many memories were captured within those 5 minutes while we dropped them off…
Kali, Ellie and Bella bee-lined it to their cubbies. Took off their back-packs, hung their coats and took their take-home folders to their teachers. Theo wished each sister farewell and Lily grabbed all three for a family hug.
In Theo and Lily’s classroom, Theo was amazed at all of the boys and Lily kept saying how much fun today was going to be.
We almost made it out tear-free but, on our way out Ellie caught a glimpse of Daddy and needed one more hug.
On the way home, they were eager to learn what the others’ experienced. While they maintained the same daily schedule, the individual activities were different. Bella, Ellie and Kali decorated hats and Theo and Lily took a class picture. Bella was proud to share that she made a new friend who helped her put her coat on. Everyone’s favorite part of the morning was playing at recess. All are looking for another day tomorrow.
We are experiencing nothing but pure joy in the Vanderwall household today. We are so proud of our little miracles!
Spring is by far my favorite season and certainly not because of the weather but rather because of the new life that abounds. February through April reminds me so much of pregnancy; Didn’t see that coming, did you? This late Winter/Early Spring is just like the 3rd trimester because new life is right on the brink but you are left trudging through uncomfortable, frigid rains for three more months. Then, finally the warm showers arrive and bring forth beauty from the vibrant green grass to the clear blue skies. The sun which previously only provided light now warms the air and brings the birds and critters out to play.
This spring has been especially fun because we have been able to get outdoors and experience all that this season has to offer… budding trees, mud, puddles and sunshine on our skin. Before summer arrives, I thought it be best to provide a snapshot of our spring time fun!
March
Late in March the kiddos got to travel to Chicago, stay up late and sleep over at Papa Ron’s to watch Uncle JD’s senior recital.
Uncle’s Concert
Click Picture to start video
They were so inspired; we had to have our own performance that weekend. We present to you the Concerto de Quint!
April
April temps warmed up and we discovered a new park nearby in Deforest. They loved the racing slides!
Easter weekend, we got to celebrate Papa Ron’s birthday and go on an epic Easter egg hunt! Our little Easter bunnies filled up on their bunny oats and then found 50 eggs filled with stickers, chalk and clues to discover their Easter baskets!
Fuel to Flourish™ 