Change is funny. Sometimes it happens suddenly without subtle warning. Other times, there are hints that something is different or will be. Last night, Frank and I were chatting about the journey our family has been on for well… for the last 10 years… and this week felt different.

Frank describes this journey as if you’re on the beach and you see an island in the distance. You know you want to get to that island, but do so you need a boat and, on the boat, you need tools to fare well in the sea. You also can’t go alone because that may be nice for a day but then we’d end up like Tom Hanks in Castaway. The vision, the boat, the tools, those are easy to obtain. The hard part is getting other people to join you on the boat. Well, yesterday we realized that our boat was full and ready to sail!

We have been pouring concentrated time and energy into behavioral and mental health care for all members of our family over the last several years. Life is hard. Life is harder when you have to share; Share a room, a birthday, your parents’ attention, or dare I say a pair of shoes! We are committed to raising our kids like a garden. We planted the seeds and they all sprouted on the same day. We can’t control the plants, only the soil, food and sunshine!

While I’ve been trying to tame my advice monster, I will give in and share a few resources that have supported us in getting on the “boat.”

Family Journals:

• All About Mom & Me
• Just Between Dad & Me: Father – Daughter Journal for Meaningful Conversations

Mental Health Support:

• Individual Therapy
• Family Therapy
• School-based Counseling
• Medication management

Protected Time:

• Family game nights
• Family TV shows that can only be watched when everyone is present
• Family Dinner
• “Special Time” (This is what we call the 5-10 minutes at bedtime where kiddos’ get 1:1 attention from each parent)

Family Events:

• Your Day: We just started celebrating each child on their own day. This may be unique to multiples. It gives them their own day each year to be recognized for who they are.
• Breakfast dates with Dad
• Afternoon walks with Mom

Helpful Prompts:

• Roses & Thorns (We often do this around the dinner table)
• What are 2 big feelings you felt today?
• What does “home” mean to you?
• What do you love or admire most about ___?
• What would our family be missing without ___?

I write this knowing full well that it’s easier to talk about hard times after they’re in the rearview mirror. I also write this with the intention to share that our voyage is just getting started and as an invitation to connect with others who may have a difficult, messy or confusing situation. We were made to walk life together.